LOVE IS......not just "love". Happy Father's Day babe.

 I don't mention it publicly or make a big thing out of it but I love my husband.  I've been learning each day how love can grow when we make the decision to choose to love someone. Love is not a feeling that you fall into and out of. It is a choice you decide to make each and every day. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13a is the best description what characterizes true love. If love were a tree that produced fruits, these would be the evidences that it is a "love tree":

Love is patient, love is kind, is not jealous, does not brag, is not puffed up;"5 it does not act unbecomingly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered;6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;7 it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never fails,..."
Which brings me to my husband...I've never met anyone like him. He really is unlike anyone I've ever met....and I think* I've met a lot of people. He's taught me so much in the short few years of knowing each other so far. Here are some of those sweet lessons he has taught me.
1. Not counting the cost...When I say he's unlike anyone I've ever met, it's in his willingness to always be available to help someone or be of use to someone. If someone needs something, he does not hesitate to help them out. Most people I know would count the cost to themselves before offering to help but my husband is of a different breed. It's really challenged me to take a look at the way he helps others and assess if I can become more selfless in my interactions with others as well.
2. Not counting the cost...Sometimes it's okay to not count the cost ahead of time. He has taught me how people survive by only buying what they need at the time that they need it. I've always been one to buy something in advance in anticipation of needing something but that has not always saved me money or proven useful in the long run.  He on the other hand, will buy only what he needs at the time that he needs it. Sometimes my method is better, sometimes his is better. Either way, his method taught me that it is possible to live in such a way. Seems like a mundane lesson but it was something I appreciated learning.
3. Marriage is only as hard as you make itI've heard it said that marriage is hard....and when I said that to my husband, he replied "marriage is only as hard as we make it". I stood there with a blank stare upon hearing that and thought to myself, how true! We can either make everything a big deal or we could learn to forgive and/or forget and move on. This has been a game changer in my traditional outlook/view on marriage. I no longer am telling myself that it is or must be hard but rather it is how hard I am choosing to make it. Thank you babe for this reminder.
4. Reading God's word daily produces real changeThis guy is always reading every chance he gets. I love seeing him read God's word but even more than that I love seeing the effect God's words has on his behavior, demeanor and overall how he as a husband treats me and how he as a father treats our daughter. I thank God for shaping him into the kind of husband and father he is. It is discouraging at times to see many so called believers who read the bible daily yet are unchanged or unwilling to submit to the Holy Spirit's leading when it comes to everyday behaviors. Of course my husband is human and as long as we both are in the flesh we will unfortunately succumb to sin but just because it is inevitable, he doesn't excuse the sin that occurs in his life. I appreciate this.
5. Manly men do exist.In today's culture, people seem to want to make men more feminine and women more masculine. This is especially true in relationships. The men are pushed down and discouraged from taking their God-given leadership role while the women are pushed up into the forefront and encouraged to take the leadership role in a marriage. This is not God's design for the marriage relationship. As a woman who desires to have a God-honoring marriage, it is important to me that my husband desires to be the Godly leader of our household to which I would learn to submit to and thankfully he is. My husband is strong, physically, mentally and emotionally yet tender-hearted and kind to me. He is very even keel and so hard working. He is always willing to go out of his way to make sure things are done right. I appreciate this. 
6. Give people the benefit of the doubt.My husband more oft than me gives people the benefit of the doubt. He usually thinks of a different perspective on not so great situations where I may not be willing to show as much grace and patience. He walks in another's shoes before he jumps to conclusions. I wish I were more like this. Seeing him do this reminds me that there's always more to the story than how it is initially presented and jumping to the worst conclusion (as I usually am tempted to do) is not the best way to view a situation.
7. The Lord hears prayer!I remember praying for a husband who was "mission-minded" and boy did the Lord deliver! I have a husband who is laser-focused on doing what he can to be a light in whatever situation he is placed in. I am so blessed to have been gifted this husband as a life partner by the Lord. I pray I never take him for granted. While dating I always looked at him with the question in my mind: "Would I want my future kids to be like him?" and my answer whole heartedly and without reservation is yes. Ultimately we both want to be like the Lord but if I had a choice on if our children take after me or him, I would rather them to take after him. I thank God for the husband that he's given me and the father he is to our child. Thank you, Lord!
The world has no idea what true love actually is. The best the world can do is describe it in this way: love is just love. Truth be told, love is so much more than what it's reduced down to. The bible tells me that God is love! 1 Corinthians 13 tells me what love ought to do. My husband shows me that love each and every day. Thank you babe for who you are. Happy 1st Father's day. We love you.

Lessons Learned from a Leeder

Helen Leeder......She turned 91 years young today. Over the past 4 months that I've come to know her better, each interaction leaves me with a renewed outlook on how any life no matter how old or young can be be lived for the Lord. Today, on her birthday, I want to write about lessons I've learned from a leader:

1. Discipline
Helen has communicated how she has numerous allergies to the point where she has all together given up certain foods that make her feel sick but she knows tastes so good. Each time our church gathers together at someone's house or on Sundays to talk over food, I am so inspired when I see how she disciplines herself to say no to certain foods that she knows are delicious but for the sake of her health, she chooses to not indulge in (sugar being one of them). Maybe this spoke to me because I have a very bad sweet tooth. I tell myself at times that quitting sugar is impossible but when I see how she does it, I realize that it takes a determined mind to control the desires of the flesh and practice discipline. Eating sugar won't kill her, but giving it up does make her stronger. This is a small example of what bodily discipline looks like and she is showing me that it is important to practice discipline even in these little things.

2. Make yourself available for the important things....what else am I making time for?
Dan would tell me stories of how when not many would be willing to go knock on a neighbors' door to share the love of Christ, Helen Leeder would show up. I myself have come to see that same spirit of willingness to make herself available for the important things. Every Wednesday evening we have prayer meeting at the chapel. She is ALWAYS there. She's 91 years old. If she can come with her weak health and hurting knees and toes, what kind of excuse am I making to not go? She has taught me that even in her old age, and changing health, she makes herself available for these important things.

3. Speak UP! 
Helen always speaks up. There have been many times I've witnessed Helen speak up about something she finds encouraging or she sees that may needs improving. I'm still learning the art of speaking up when needed but when I witness the way she does it, I take notes.

Dan and I visited her last night and she was sharing lessons she learned while living in the south during segregation. Her words still echo in my mind regarding not letting anyone's issue with her race become her own. And how she chose not to practice the same hostility to others that was shown to her. She embodies the verse found in 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 "and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."

I am sure there are many more lessons I will learn as I continue to spend more time with Mrs. Leeder. These were 3 lessons that I've learned from her example as a lover of the Lord Jesus. Happy Birthday Mrs. Leeder! Thank you for being a leader!

Wedding Bells and Police Sirens

2 years have passed since I met Daniel. Three months have passed since I heard the wedding bells that ushered me into a new phase of life. Thankfully I haven't heard too many police sirens yet but I have learned a lot so far. Today is his birthday and although I've been contemplating what my next post would be for a while, I found it fit to post today, on his birthday, the lessons he has helped me learn over the past 2 years.

The effects of living life in fear:
Being married to a police officer who works in Camden brings new challenges of fear daily. Fear for his safety and/or well-being. Fear for what he has to see or be exposed to. Police officers run to danger when many others are running away from it. Police officers usually see us at our worst times in life and daily make it their job to come to provide us with the help we need. When we were courting, one of my main concerns was his job and the life that comes with being married to someone in such a dangerous profession. He reminded me that if there was someone in a profession that needed to be placed in life or death situations, it is good that it be someone who knows the Lord and knows for sure where his eternity will be. Never thought of it that way but that's what being married to someone does- expand perspectives. One of the main thoughts that kept coming to my mind was, anything can happen to anyone at anytime-would that reality prevent me from truly living life? I was faced with the reality that although his job is by nature dangerous, I myself could walk out the door one day and that could be my last day on earth. I can't live life in fear because that in fact is the opposite of living. I've learned that my fears are usually the outward expression of what I trust God with the least. It amazes me how many times Jesus tells his disciples to not be afraid. To this day, I struggle with fears and worries and continue to pray and work towards worrying less and trusting God more. I am thankful that there is true peace that comes as a result of having an actual relationship with God--if I didn't have that, there would be absolutely no hope.

John 16:33- I [Jesus] have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I [Jesus] have overcome the world.
[clarifications, mine].

Slow down and say, no:
We sat down and watched A Christmas Carol the other evening. For those of you who don't know, now you know: it was the classic 1970's film version on Ebenezer Scrooge. As the opening credits moved across the screen, I grabbed the remote to fast forward through to the beginning of the movie. Dan jokingly jabbed something along the lines of: You must be part of the instant-gram and instant gratification-millennials who cant even spare 30 seconds for an opening credit. . I heard the remark and chuckled and begrudgingly sat through the opening credits to prove that I could do it. As I did, I realized that a lot of what I do now has little to do with enjoying the experience of what is right in front of me and more with fast-forwarding to the good/better parts of life--almost cushioning myself in a bubble of pleasure, leaving no room for practicing perseverance. I've forgotten what it feels like to just sit and be patient. I've forgotten that I don't need to fulfill every urge that my body has at the expense of ignoring my mind. I've been to third-world countries where people simply don't have a choice to fast-forward to a better anything and yet, somehow they smile and laugh and enjoy the same simple pleasures of life together with a community rather than with a stark screen that tries to emulate the concept of community with "friends" and "followers". From observing those in my parent's and grandparent's generation who didn't have the choice to choose to fast-forward to only view better more pleasurable things in life, I find that they somehow are also better equipped to handle the no's they hear. I, in contrast, want everything now, and I want it fast--it's the result of living in a time of prosperity--it didn't feel good when I had to sit and force myself to watch the opening list of names of people who worked hard to provide a classic film for my entertainment now but I liked the challenge of saying no to myself. Wow, the horrific first-world problem of saying no to fast-forwarding past opening credits. And, I've concluded that I should do it more often--not simply as a pointless exercise but to exercise discipline.

Hebrew 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Be content with less so you can give more:
I've always heard of the principle of asking myself whether something I want to purchase is an actual "want" or a "need". Over the past 2 years and 3 months, I've seen how Dan rarely buys himself something so that he can save more to give much more to others. It's a practice I've admired and I hope it rubs off on me. This week itself I unsubscribed from 3 email subscriptions to Gap, Madewell and Old Navy since I noticed that I shop online more as I see more sale advertisements. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about neglecting self but definitely being content with less and foregoing some of the things I don't really need. Simply put, the more stuff I have, the more time, energy and effort goes in to cleaning, maintaining and repairing it. Less stuff, more space, more time to spend with people (which is what truly matters) over things. I've concluded that if I focus on saying no to more things and being content with less, then I will have more time to invest in people, relationships and actually having more to give to others.

1 Timothy 6:6-12- But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. 

Get out of your comfort zone:
Dan took me to Camden the night before thanksgiving to a church service that was giving food to the hungry and more importantly sharing the love of Christ to the people there. To be completely honest, I was terrified. I sat there stiff as a board wincing at the stench of illegal marijuana in the air. As I sat there thinking I am not sure what will happen before the end of this evening, I hoped and prayed that at-least one person there would understand that God loves them and wants a relationship with them. That night in addition to the previous time I went to the heart of Camden, I learned that going out of our comfort zone is what we're called to do as Christians. It is where God shows His power rather than us relying on our own strength. The church is not to be sitting inside the comfort of our 4 walls but instead using our hands and feet to get out into the world and be a light, trusting that God will be faithful to His word. What have we got to lose? To those living out of your comfort zone, keep up the good work. I am slowly learning what you have been practicing and I am sure that God is teaching me to continue going out of my comfort zone to bring comfort to those who need it most.

John 3:16- For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 10:9- If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

2 Corinthians 1:3- Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Embrace differences:
Daniel and I are VERY different from each other. At the beginning stages of our courting, I often times would become frustrated that we were both very different from each other in regards to "superficial" things such as hobbies, leisure time activities, culinary preferences etc. and at the time, the ONLY thing we had in common at the time were spiritual matters- our faith that the Bible is the truth and that Jesus is who He says He is. We also agreed that we would like to live a life in accordance with the patterns seen in the New Testament and biblical principles of what it means to live a God-fearing life. Obviously I thought how silly that I'm frustrated that we agree on deep, complex and fundamental beliefs however are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to superficial, minimal and mundane every day preferences. At the time when I would express and communicate my frustration to Dan, he would remind me that we would be alright if we embraced each other's differences rather than seeking to make both of us into each other. Ultimately if we both sought to imitate one person, Jesus, we would be more than okay. So far, he's been right- I am learning to embrace the differences between us. It brings variety and keeps life with a spouse interesting. He once asked me if I could imagine how boring life would be if I was the same as him or if he was the same as me--oddly I'm seeing his point. When we go to a restaurant, we both order very different meals and share so we can try the *different* items. Dan enjoys reading during his spare time, I enjoy doing that when I'm sitting on a train or on a rainy day. With each day that passes, I experience how media, be it social or screen or print, aims to feed our own view points and block out any opposing view point. For example, the likes and comments we make on platforms such as facebook/instagram/youtube are tracked and remembered so that the app/site provide us with more and more of what we LIKE...more of what we agree with.....more of things similar to everything we find pleasurable--why? more pleasure, more usage--more usage, more profit. The unfortunate side effect: less time with different people/views/perspectives, more time staring at screens or listening to voices that are almost carbon copies of everything we like, want and find pleasurable in the world. All sunshine to keep us happy, no rain to force us to grow. If there's one thing that I appreciate the most out of all of these different lessons life with Dan has taught me, it is to embrace our differences and use our different strengths to build each other up rather than tearing us down.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

Thank you, Dan and happy birthday! I hope and pray we get to spend many more years together growing, learning, praying and serving however we can. You've taught me so much in the limited time we've spent together and I thank God that I said yes to you 3 months ago. You are an amazing man and you are loved more than you know.

*End sappy wife post.*

A letter to myself...

60 days.

A letter? I meant a two worded reminder.

[Un]-Expected.

I have been thinking about this one phrase recently: The Unexpected. 
It's been all around me for the past year and a half. Lurking around every corner.....at the beginning or end of a month.....sometimes during the middle of the day--it catches me off-guard! I become startled by it but then catch my breath again and learn how to breathe again, this time, with deeper and fuller breaths than before. Maybe I over-dramatized my description of what happens to me when the unexpected happens....hopefully you weren't expecting that. 
............
I'm learning how to be thankful for the unexpected. It's usually something I don't look forward to. I didn't expect my grandma and aunt to pass away last year. I didn't expect my brother-in-law to face pancreatic cancer this year. I didn't expect my own life to have taken the current path it's on. The more I ponder the effects of these encounters I have with the un-expected, I am realizing that it tends to teach me more than circumstances I expected in life would. 
............
When I think upon familiar characters in the Bible who faced unexpected circumstances, one person in particular comes to mind: Mary. Her reaction to the unexpected news that she would be *expecting* to give birth soon left me speechless.
Here it is:

Luke 1: 38: Mary answered, “I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me.”

My reaction would not have been as graceful and humble as Mary's. I am realizing that the unexpected pushes me out of my comfort zone. It transforms my resistance into resilience and is teaching me to take my gaze off of the unexpected circumstance but instead look onto who God is. He is the only constant through life's unexpected and expected times. Anyone who has walked closely with me the past two years has probably seen a more close-up and personal look into how I have been learning to deal with/embrace/learn from the unexpected. I suppose I'll write a memoir detailing those experiences one day. For myself, I have a hard time giving up control and letting the unexpected run its course. If there is one thing I've learned this past year about the unexpected, it is: Learning to embrace the unexpected is scary and uncomfortable, but in that very place is where a little flame called Faith learns to grow.


I wasn't expecting myself to write another blog post yet here I am.....considering the thought of picking this up again. There have been so many lessons the Lord has been teaching me through the unexpected. I hope to clearly articulate my own thoughts in a way that I can look back on these posts I write as reminders to myself of what I'm being taught through life. That is the purpose behind picking this up again. So what can be expected as a result of this blog post? 

An unexpected next blog post.

Currently Following This Series...

10 Part Series on The Church
Study guide that goes along with the series: The Church: Masterpiece of the Ages - J.B. Nicholson, Jr.

Motives and Perspective

I've had the pleasure of meeting Bryan Stoudt at the weekly USciences Christian Fellowship meetings I attended while at school. He recently published this post on his blog and the title certainly caught my attention. I think his post is a good perspective on one thing to keep in mind when considering whether the Lord wants one to stay or leave a community of believers. I've left the link below so I can look back and take a read whenever I stumble upon it again.

http://www.bryanstoudt.com/before-you-leave-your-church-make-sure-you-consider-this/